Normally, I would start out my blog by talking about how I had two healthy babies for a family so deserving, but this time it’s not about the parents. This isn’t about me either; and, yes, of course, I was pregnant. I went through all the steps in my surrogacy pregnancy with the parents of the two children who I carried for them. My story does not end with two healthy babies. It was a journey that I took with my family (my husband and two kids). While it’s easy to focus on the positives after the fact, the journey had many, many, ups and downs that we all experienced as a family. Surrogacy takes a village and I had mine.
So, instead of writing about myself, my spotlight is them. I am not me without them and couldn’t have made it through without their support. My advice to many others thinking about surrogacy, or on that path of surrogacy, is that it takes a village. Whether that is one person or 50 people, it’s your village. We are all human, and we all need support.
I chose to go through an agency for my surrogacy journey and my case manager was pretty much my main squeeze who knew anything and everything; I would have been so lost without her. One phone call away meant, literally that—just one phone call away. She always knew the next steps and what I should be expecting. I could reach out at any point, day or night (and I did – because our worries and concerns don’t only come up during normal business hours!), and she was there – either with an answer or a promise that she’d find it out for me as soon as she could. Even after the journey was over, she stuck with me working on some medical billing issues that didn’t get resolved until almost a year after the birth!
My family and friends, of course, were the other half of my village. There were points when I would call my husband many times in one day, crying and ready to just give up, and he would talk me through it and encourage me through the hard moments. That’s what is was though, it was a hard moment and that’s it; they always passed and got better. On any surrogacy journey, you will have many hard moments, but luckily they are filled with a lot more joyful moments to make it all worth it.
The biggest advice I have, courtesy of my amazing co-worker and right hand woman (who has been a surrogate herself many times and know how it can be!), is to always stay positive! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s up to you to make that ride through it joyful and happy. Staying positive is sometimes the hardest thing we can do, but is so important.
Want to get more information on becoming a gestational carrier, what the process is like or just hear our stories?